Mom's Greatest Lessons

Happy Mother’s Day to all those women who are parenting in some way, shape, or form. Of course, this is a day of reflection for us kids out there. We are hyperaware of just how much our moms have and continue to do for us. Whether it’s the financial support, the constant words of wisdom, or the values instilled in us, it’s important to recognize the depths of gratitude we have for our mothers.

To say I am close to my mom is an understatement; she is my very best friend in the entire world. Growing up, I was like an extra appendage to my mom rather than a separate being. We had the obligatory rough spot right around the time I left for college, which I think was good for us both, but it was nothing big enough to destroy the inherent, sustaining bond between mother and child. It served as that transitional period when my mom slowly became less of a parent and more of a friend.

Today and everyday, I am grateful for the lessons my mom has taught me. This ranges from the most trivial lessons like how to play Tetris, how to find good bargains, and how to make the best meatloaf, to those very important life lessons that shape who we are. Some of the greatest life lessons my mom has taught me:

1. How to be a good friend – My mom has always been that go-to person. Whenever her friends are in need, they seem to call on her, and my mom will drop whatever she’s doing to be there. She does not go into any crisis situation with an overbearing presence or the mentality that she is the one who is really wanted, though she is. Instead, she listens wholeheartedly and does helpful things, like tag along on a shopping trip, make food or clean up whenever her friends are feeling low. I pale in comparison to my mom when it comes to being a good friend, but I’m working on it.

2. How to give and receive love – I’m still learning this, too. Tomorrow is my parents’ 24^th wedding anniversary. They haven’t had a marriage full of lavish things or experiences, yet they still love each other very much. It is a partnership – a give and take – and I desperately want that in my life, too.

3. A love for reading – My mom began by reading to me, then she taught me how to read, and now there are times when we still read together. Since reading is such a huge part of my life, I am grateful that both of my parents created an environment that encouraged reading. They have always treated reading as a right rather than a privilege. I have known many parents who punish their children by taking reading material away, but my mom would have never done this.

4. How to be an adult – My mom raised an adult, not a child. She didn’t hover over me or make decisions for me. She made me make my own decisions and face whatever successes or repercussions that resulted from those decisions. She made me make my own phone calls, manage my own bank account, pay my own bills, and buy my own car or any other ‘want’ that I desired. I didn’t get an allowance for doing chores. I was expected to contribute to our household for free. I didn’t feel deprived because of this. I felt empowered.

5. Putting children first – What is with parents today? Many are either helicopter parents or selfish and narcissistic. My parents were neither. My mom sacrificed so much for us. It wasn’t easy having two sets of twins at a young age. But, she has always worked long, hard hours to provide for us. She opened her own daycare business so she could still be with us and earn money at the same time. We’ve always got what we needed and a lot of what we wanted. Most importantly, she didn’t shoo us away when we wanted to talk to her, even though we were annoying. Everyday, we’d come home from school, and she would put the phone down or stop what she was doing so we could tell her about our day. When we cheered, she came to most games and competitions and did whatever she could to support us, including staying up to put rollers in our hair – a long, tedious process that cheerleaders no longer have to do now that they have fake hair.

Summer Reading List

Almost all avid readers have their summer reading lists, and I am no exception. I love reading other people’s lists, because it gives me ideas, so I hope my list can help some of you. It probably won’t help much, because I usually have a theme I follow during the summer, and this year I’m focusing on adolescent literature. Not everything I read during the summer will follow this theme, but at least half of the books I read will. For those of you who don’t like this ‘genre’ (for lack of a better word. I guess it would be more of a specific target audience with a wide variety of genres), I would say give some a chance. Even though the writing is more simplistic, the concepts or issues discussed can still be incredibly complex. Anyways, here’s my list:

ADOLESCENT READS:

Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief – I will likely read all of the Olympian series before summer’s end, which will be no feat, considering the target audience for Rick Riordan’s series is sixth graders. I am almost finished with the first book, and I am frustrated by Riordan’s assumption that sixth graders automatically know and understand Greek mythology. His explanations or descriptions of gods and other mythical creatures are terrible, and sometimes, he fails to explain the characters or settings altogether. I think that the sixth grade mind would struggle to visualize what’s taking place within the novel.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins – supposedly another first in a series. A classmate recommended it, saying that it’s set in the future somewhere in North America in the nation of Panem. Each year, the outlying districts of Panem each send one boy and one girl into the Hunger Games, while it is televised for everyone to see. It’s gladiator-style, where only one person ends up surviving. The story focuses on one of the girls entering the competition. It seems morbidly fascinating.

Incarceron by Catherine Fisher – focuses on seventeen-year-old Finn, a prisoner in the vast Incarceron, which is not only made up of cells, but also metal forests and dilapidated cities. Finn believes he came from the Outside. Not all prisoners believe the Outside exists. Finn finds a crystal key that allows him to speak to Claudia, a girl claiming she exists on the outside. Finn and Claudia devise a plan to help Finn escape.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky – narrated by a teen, Charlie, who writes a series of letters chronicling his life to an anonymous recipient. Chbosky is scheduled to deliver a speech to new incoming freshmen at Slippery Rock University in August. Many of my classmates have recommended this book, saying it’s a must-read.

The Kids are Alright: A Memoir by the Welch siblings – Four siblings struggle to define ‘home’ after their parents’ deaths.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See – I started reading this a little over a year ago, and it was one of the best books I began and have not finished. I stopped for personal reasons, but I want to start this one over and finish it. It’s set in 19^th century in China, when women still had their feet bound and had arranged marriages, going on to live their illiterate lives in seclusion. I cannot adequately give you a synopsis of this book. I just really, really encourage you to read it. It’s captivating.

OTHERS:

House Rules by Jodi Picoult – I love anything by Jodi Picoult. I love her ability to write about complex, controversial issues without taking sides. This novel is about a teenage boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. He fixates on crime solving, studying criminal psychology and forensics. But, his odd behaviors and obsessions cause him to be the prime suspect in his tutor’s murder case. This one should be awesome!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steigg Larson – Okay. I’ve already started this, and I’m having a difficult time finishing it. I’m probably about 10% into the book (Kindle doesn’t go by pages). I am really not into finances, investments, and white collar crimes, and so far, this book is all about that. If anyone else out there is reading this or has read it, please let me know what you think. I hear the books in this series are fantastic, but I can’t get into them.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen – centers on a man named Jacob Jankowski and his experiences in the traveling circus. I’m excited for this one!

OTHER SUGGESTIONS THAT I’VE ALREADY READ:

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

Family Tree by Barbara Delinsky

The Power of Cooking

I recently watched Julie and Julia. To those who don’t know me: I am a huge Meryl Streep fan! I will watch any of her movies, even if the premise is a bit boring, which was why I was hesitant to watch this film. I was wrong. I actually loved it! I find it fascinating that a simple idea can become so complex. Julie had to have a lot of resolve to get through 500+ recipes in 365 days. For the most part, it’s more than one recipe a day for an entire year. I don’t know a single person who cooks two meals or a meal and a dessert each day from scratch. Those only typically happen during special occasions, so I give her a lot of credit.

Of course, Meryl Streep did an amazing job depicting Julia Child. For knowing so little about the chef prior to watching the film, I walked away with a new-found love for this woman, along with discovering something about myself: I want to cook, too. I don’t know how anyone could watch this movie and not feel as though they can eventually make beef bourguignon to perfection! I have experimented with cooking a few times successfully, but I still had my doubts about a Julia child recipe, so last week, I stuck to some Rachael Ray recipes, instead. I made excellent oatmeal raisin cookies (I tweaked the recipe quite a bit, too), although I broke my mom’s electric mixers, and there was fire involved. This week, I am going to make a beef stew – the closest simple recipe I could find to beef bourguignon! Hey, I’ve got to start somewhere, right?

Anyways, I walked away from this movie feeling empowered and thinking that I really could accomplish something new if I set my mind to it. A goal is a goal, despite its simplicity or personal relevance.