Happy Mother’s Day to all those women who are parenting in some way, shape, or form. Of course, this is a day of reflection for us kids out there. We are hyperaware of just how much our moms have and continue to do for us. Whether it’s the financial support, the constant words of wisdom, or the values instilled in us, it’s important to recognize the depths of gratitude we have for our mothers.
To say I am close to my mom is an understatement; she is my very best friend in the entire world. Growing up, I was like an extra appendage to my mom rather than a separate being. We had the obligatory rough spot right around the time I left for college, which I think was good for us both, but it was nothing big enough to destroy the inherent, sustaining bond between mother and child. It served as that transitional period when my mom slowly became less of a parent and more of a friend.
Today and everyday, I am grateful for the lessons my mom has taught me. This ranges from the most trivial lessons like how to play Tetris, how to find good bargains, and how to make the best meatloaf, to those very important life lessons that shape who we are. Some of the greatest life lessons my mom has taught me:
1. How to be a good friend – My mom has always been that go-to person. Whenever her friends are in need, they seem to call on her, and my mom will drop whatever she’s doing to be there. She does not go into any crisis situation with an overbearing presence or the mentality that she is the one who is really wanted, though she is. Instead, she listens wholeheartedly and does helpful things, like tag along on a shopping trip, make food or clean up whenever her friends are feeling low. I pale in comparison to my mom when it comes to being a good friend, but I’m working on it.
2. How to give and receive love – I’m still learning this, too. Tomorrow is my parents’ 24th wedding anniversary. They haven’t had a marriage full of lavish things or experiences, yet they still love each other very much. It is a partnership – a give and take – and I desperately want that in my life, too.
3. A love for reading – My mom began by reading to me, then she taught me how to read, and now there are times when we still read together. Since reading is such a huge part of my life, I am grateful that both of my parents created an environment that encouraged reading. They have always treated reading as a right rather than a privilege. I have known many parents who punish their children by taking reading material away, but my mom would have never done this.
4. How to be an adult – My mom raised an adult, not a child. She didn’t hover over me or make decisions for me. She made me make my own decisions and face whatever successes or repercussions that resulted from those decisions. She made me make my own phone calls, manage my own bank account, pay my own bills, and buy my own car or any other ‘want’ that I desired. I didn’t get an allowance for doing chores. I was expected to contribute to our household for free. I didn’t feel deprived because of this. I felt empowered.
5. Putting children first – What is with parents today? Many are either helicopter parents or selfish and narcissistic. My parents were neither. My mom sacrificed so much for us. It wasn’t easy having two sets of twins at a young age. But, she has always worked long, hard hours to provide for us. She opened her own daycare business so she could still be with us and earn money at the same time. We’ve always got what we needed and a lot of what we wanted. Most importantly, she didn’t shoo us away when we wanted to talk to her, even though we were annoying. Everyday, we’d come home from school, and she would put the phone down or stop what she was doing so we could tell her about our day. When we cheered, she came to most games and competitions and did whatever she could to support us, including staying up to put rollers in our hair – a long, tedious process that cheerleaders no longer have to do now that they have fake hair.
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